Getting to Know Your New Family

by Lisa Donovan

My husband’s parents are here for a three day visit and we are having such a fantastic time. There is ease in our interaction and there is great levity to our conversations. We sincerely know each other and, as it turns out, we really like one another a great deal. We treat one another like family. And I suppose that is as it should be. You would think that simply because you marry someone that you will be a big hit with their family almost immediately — however, that is not the case with everyone. Some people take some time to warm up to. Even though I have always been the easy going girl that is easy to get to know, in this instance and for the first time in my life, I have been hard to get to know for my in-laws. In fact, my sister-in-law has even said as much. Ouch.

Since my husband and I have only been married for two years, it is fair to say that I have only known my in-laws “pretty well” up to this point. We have our ups and downs — the typical things you sort out upon entering a family. I think they used to think I was uptight and judgemental — for some reason I come off this way to a lot of people and I have never quite understood it. They were very careful with what they said around me and how they behaved. I hated it. Uptight and judgemental are two of the farthest sentiments from what is truly going on in my mind. Thank god, they have finally realize that I am just a self-conscious, conflicted nerd. This realization, I think, has been the catalyst for great change. Spending the last two to four years simply getting to know one another has been simulteaneously the most wonderful and the most nerve-wracking thing in the world. Then a visit like this comes and you realize that there is no effort involved — that you have moved beyond being the “new girl” and that people are finally free to relax. Now we are spending our time doing better things than the ritualistic “getting to know one another” dance — we are enjoying one another…Aahhhhh… Turning corners is lovely.

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 4th, 2006 at 8:36 am and is filed under Marriage, Daily Living. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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