I have always loved traveling.. Being in airports and being in airplanes was not only never a source of anxiety but it has always been a very inherently positive experience for me. Flying has always been oddly comforting. I was born moving - my dad was in the Army so we never stayed in one place very long.

So, tomorrow I get on a plane for my cousin’s wedding. It is the first time I have flown in almost four years. For the first time in my life, I am terrified. It started out with a little nervousness last week and now, a day before, I am wondering if I should go get some kind of relaxant from a psychotherapist….. weird, huh? Not sure what all the fuss is about - my husband has suggested that I have post 9/11 jitters.. I have flown since then, though, it can’t be that. I guess I just have more to lose now than ever before. When I was a young college student, I literally had nothing to worry about. Now I will be leaving everything behind - my kids, my husband, all the things that make me a happy girl. And I think getting older has made me much more aware of my mortality. I know I am not invincible. I guess this is just one of those little obstacles to get over so that I can keep living the rest of my life. People fly all the time - of course, the second I type that, the next argument that arises is that “yes, people fly all the time and there has not been a plane crash for quite some time.. that increases your odds”… god, when did I become such a morbid little thing????

Alright, enough of that. On a positive note: I will get to see my family (cousins I grew up with and aunts and uncles that I haven’t seen in YEARS) and will get to spend a weekend with my mom. This will be our first trip together without the rest of our crew - should be buckets of fun. She’s a fun lady, my mom. It’s bound to be a raucous good time!

Wish me luck with the plane rides!

This entry was posted on Thursday, April 20th, 2006 at 9:22 am and is filed under Vacation and Travel. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.