“I have no problem spanking you in front of all these people…”

by Lisa Donovan

This is what I actually said to my six year old son yesterday.  It’s true.  I never thought those words would come out of my mouth, but, I haven’t been able to stop saying things like this for the last two or three weeks..  He is driving me crazy - he knows it and he is loving every minute of it. What the f*!# do I do?

I spent a good two hours on the phone with one of my closest friends a couple of nights ago.  She doesn’t have a six year old yet, but she has three kids and I value her opinion and respect her capacity to keep cool with three kids all under the age of five.  I get exhausted just watching her. But, she has utter control over those babies.  Complete.  Meanwhile, my son is pulling my daughter’s pants down and hitting her in the head (he calls this love tapping) with a plastic butterfly net and my voice seems like nothing but white noise to him (I probably just sound like a fly in his ear at this point)… Most of the time he is golden.  But there is always a large chunk of our day that requires huge discipline.  He doesn’t respond to anything other than physical discipline during those times.  No, I don’t mean I hit or spank him - what I mean is that if, for example, I am telling him to “stop” spinning in the chair that (after two times of stating verbally that I need him to quit) I have to go over and physically take him off the chair and remove him from the situation.  This was the same thing I had to do when he was 3(!) and I just don’t feel like I should have to do it with a six year old. 

Anyway, I am trying out some new books and think that I need to have a consistant system to my discipline with him.  I need something that works for a 6year old - something that will help him understand he is in control of himself (and only himself - that is another issue: he seems to think his sister is his toy or possession) and something to help him realize that he is at his best (and having more fun) when he is listening and working well with others. 

There is a series of books that started with the Love and Logic principle.  It was written by Jim Fay.  I have looked through the website and so far I am impressed with the ideology of it.  It seems realistic and unlike a lot of other parenting guides (don’t you find that a lot of them are a little hokey and drippy? maybe it’s just me..).  I think it will be geared toward my need for compassion and my son’s inherent and strong logical side (I tend to be a little too “wordy” and give too much info - he needs directness and exactness). 

I’ll let you know how it is going along the way…

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 21st, 2006 at 11:50 am and is filed under Parenting, Child Development, Parent Education, Daily Living. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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