You Say “Potato”, I Say “Damn It, Stop Being So Difficult”…

by Lisa Donovan

There are times in a marriage when you wonder how two people who are usually beaming with love and admiration for one another can be living in the same house with each other.  Occasionally it is unclear who is being the fussy one, perhaps it’s both of you, but the fact remains:  sometimes you just want to “accidentally” elbow your significant other in the face - or is it just me?

What is occuring to me is that it is never the big stuff that we get worked up about.  Perhaps that is the sign of a good marriage, which I know I have.  My marriage is impressive - even to me.  My husband and I manage to balance the important things and work through the tough things pretty remarkably well.  So, I guess it is perplexing to me when we have those days when something as small as a schedule change becomes reason for us to stay in seperate rooms and brood for most of the morning.  If we can stay strong through poverty and sick children and car accidents and career changes and dying pets you would think we wouldn’t be irked by the little stuff, no? 

It’s a funny thing.  People get married and they grow and they are forced to face who they are and who they aren’t in the presence of this one person for their entire life.  Basically, by getting married, we are challenging ourselves to be open to someone else owning a huge stake in our emotional landscape and in our future potential as a human being.  We are opening ourselves up for frustration and amazement.  We are saying “even though I can live a spontaneous life, I will respect the fact that you like to plan everything a thousand days ahead of time”.  And sometimes it’s irritating and sometimes it makes you roll your eyes so far back into your head that you are certain you can see your partner sitting behind you doing the same thing.  But, in truth, those days are few and far between.  Those days make you thankful for the other days - the days when you can’t take your eyes off of your husband as he gives your daughter a bath; those days when you come home from work to bottles of wine and etta james playing on the stereo; those days when you seem to laugh from morning to night.  It’s true that those days are the best and the most frequent but, on days like today, I can’t help thinking of a quote I once heard.  I think it was Rita Rudner.. It went something like this:  I love being married.  It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 

Aaaaaand, sometimes, that about sums it up.

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This entry was posted on Friday, July 21st, 2006 at 9:41 am and is filed under Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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