Archive for July, 2006

Dangling Tragedies….

In my haste to get to Florida to be with my dad, I completely left everyone in true cliff-hanging style about the situation. Sorry ’bout that. Here’s the seet’ation….

Quick catch-up on the man himself: He was a mess internally.  They worked it all out, beginning with his gallbladder.  No cancer.  No prostate trouble, as they suspected.  He’ll live to hear me gripe and lecture him about paying closer attention to his body and the signals it is sending, thank god.. 

Quick catch-up on me (because, you know, it’s all about me):  After a week of tending to my parents, I have realized that I am a weakling when it comes to their pain.  Something takes over when it is my kids - I get a weird power and strength that is out of this world if something happens to my children.  It was hard, but I made it through my daughter getting part of her lung taken out and an IV being wired to her head at a mere two weeks old.  I pulled out strength reserves for that that I didn’t even know I had.  But, not so much with my mom and dad.  I actually nearly fainted because my dad was getting out of bed and grunting with pain.  God, I felt like such a damned sissy.  I also became a little mad.  I actually started to resent my dad for not paying attention and taking better care of himself.  Here’s my schpeal on that:

What is wrong with men that they can’t admit that something might be wrong until they are in unlivable pain and rushing off to the emergency room?  Come on!!  For years (YEARS!) he has had pain after eating, intense stomach aches and a myriad of other maladies that aren’t normal living conditions.  But, as a marathon runner and someone who eats fairly healthy (I would make some modifications in the red meat sector, but he disagrees) he felt like it was just age catching up to him and all that kind of nonsense.  My father in law is the same way.  Apparently, he lived with a shoulder that was, basically, ripping apart at the muscle tissue.  He actually played a tennis tournament with it that way.  The doctor can’t figure out how he was not in imense pain for months.  I just don’t get it.  Perhaps women are just more wired to pay attention to our bodies.  Perhaps some men just feel like it is too much like asking for directions when you are lost - it makes you appear vulnerable and not in control.  What I am trying to get across to my dad, to avoid future calamadies such as this, is that it is actually an empowerment to be aware of your health and to, ultimately, take control of it as much as you can.  But, he’s a typical man of that generation (my husband sure doesn’t have a problem talking about his discomfort… no problem at all.) - he doesn’t take directions from anyone… Thanks for everyone’s thoughts and good vibes.  Supportive people make the world a nicer place to live.  Smooth sailing from here (knock wood, knock wood!)…………

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