Must… Get… Sleep

by Lisa Donovan

I have never felt more juvenile in my whole life.  My husband is out of town and my imagination is running wild and I am, between the hours of 10pm and 4am, quite certain that there is an army of bad men out in my yard waiting, just waiting, for me to doze off so they can come and rape me, pilage my goods and steal my children.  They are clothed in rags and are wearing camoflauge and are armed to the teeth with mean looking boo-boo makers (that’s what our two year old calls scissors and knives).  I’m sure watching creepy episodes of season two of Lost isn’t helping.

This is utterly ridiculous.  Needless to say, with this unmanagable imagination of mine, I haven’t been sleeping much these last days.  Today, I am on a mission to ease my worried mind.  I have decided it is one set of windows, in particular, that is freaking me out and making me feel vulnerable to the outside world.  There are seven windows in my bedroom that are like little boat windows - they are right over my bed and, if you were to stand right out side of them, you can basically see everything in my room including me all alone in my bed holding a chef’s knife and giving whatever might be outside the surliest, most dangerous face I can muster up.  They are large enough to crawl through but not large enough to cover with shades - and they don’t lock and can be opened from the outside with great, frightening, ease.  For three nights I have set boobie traps along the windows so that if anyone were to mess with them, I would hear it before they got very far.  Today, though, I am nipping this crazy sh!* in the bud.  I’m painting the damn things shut and I am getting little cafe curtains to provide me some privacy - and sanity. 

Have I really become a helpless woman who can’t feel safe without her big strong man in the house.  Puke.  Puke puke puke.


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 at 9:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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