Finding Your Crew..

by Lisa Donovan

It’s that time of the month again - noooo, not that time of the month… The time of the month where, apparently, everything falls apart for a couple of days.  Nap time is warfare.  Bedtime is worse.  Mealtimes are a combination of food throwing by the youngest and complaining by the eldest.  I have heard “no!” come out of both of my children’s mouths more in the last two days than I have ever heard in my entire life.  I need a drink and it isn’t even noon.

So, since the drink is out of the question at least until tonight, I instead took a long walk with a girlfriend of mine (whose kids are, of course, the pinnacle of grace and politeness and obedience - by comparison I am sure my daughter, who was literally getting in my face and screaming at me like a drill sergeant, looked like sybil) and that helped immensely.  Joy has three daughters herself and is quite helpful when it comes to just talking things out and giving advice and sharing ideas.  It made me thankful that I have a support system, which I didn’t have not so long ago.  And, not a lot of women do.  Joy and I were lucky enough to stumble upon each other three years ago, both single mothers and needing lots of love and comraderie.  We bonded almost immediately.  Most mothers, though, have to go seeking it out.  Sometimes throug the kids’ school.. Sometimes through bookclubs.. And, sometimes, through the usually uber-social and occasionally frightening Playgroup.  For a rather intense and quasi-hilarious look at the inner working of Nashville’s mother/child groups check out this article.  It was about playgroups and this women’s particular experience with it in Nashville.  I was actually the E.Nashville mother she mentions in the article.  We had a lovely time and even though she pokes a little fun at my ‘hood - you know, whatever - it made for damn good reading and therein that humor is a thread of truth.  The intense/hilarious part is the reaction by the Green Hills mothers whom she also mentioned in the article.  Most of us are just struggling to find our support systems and friends whom we can trust and confide in about our deepest mothering emotions and the author didn’t find it there - actually, quite the opposite.  Apparently, the ladies in Green Hills are combatively protective about their image to the rest of Nashville because they reacted in a freakishly frightening way (lots of foul language and grotesquely incorrect grammar) because Lindsey (the woman who wrote the article) didn’t feel comfortable at their group.  Unfortunately, they failed to see that it was one woman’s take on how hard it is to find something as necessary and simple as what I was lucky enough to have this morning with my friend Joy.  And, unfortunately for them, they came off looking like the last group of people you would want to expose your most sensitive side to (being a mother is personal - why on earth would you want to open that up to these people?) OR expose your children to.  I just found the whole thing shocking. And funny. So, for any of my readers out there, I hope you have better experiences finding a group of your own - a place where you feel you can be human and not be judge. Or cussed at for not fitting in. 

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This entry was posted on Thursday, October 12th, 2006 at 9:59 am and is filed under Parenting, Daily Living. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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