Hold Yourself Accountable

by Julie Fletcher

This has been on my mind lately. In fact, this has been gnawing at me quite a bit.

Why do some parents not take responsibility for the action of their children?

I experience this quite a bit. A person I know refuses to ever hold themselves accountable for anything their children may do. If their child breaks something that belongs to someone else, this person refuses to replace it. I asked them why they think that they should not and the answer always is the same: “I didn’t do it.�

What? It is beyond me how anyone could not understand that if their child does something wrong, it reflects on them as a parent. Most parents I know would fall over themselves apologizing, punish the child if the behavior was intentional, then replace the item. Accidents are another matter, which punishment should not be given, but a good explanation of why the accident resulted in the break,injury, or other damage.

Recently, an expensive gaming platform of ours was damaged by this person’s child. We barred them from touching it again, and the parent thinks we are being unreasonable. This person also lies, refuses to believe in consequences for any of their own actions, then wonders why the children they have raised do not behave in a normally acceptable fashion

As parents, we need to hold ourselves accountable for our children’s actions and behavior. But, before we can wonder why our children behave poorly (if they do), we need to take a good look at our own behavior. Are we setting good examples?

Children learn by watching their parents. It sounds simple enough, but some parents do not understand this. I don’t know why, perhaps there is something missing in their thought process. We all know these types and at one time or another, we’ve all been as flabbergasted as I am now.

So, for those who are not quite sure on how to avoid setting a bad example, here are a few tips. Those of you who know what I mean, smile with me.

1. Lying.
If you lie, your children will as well. More than likely, to you.

2. If you act as if you’ll never have to pay a bill, your children will probably live with you until they’re 50.

3. Commit a crime, then act like it was a joke? Be prepared to share a cell with your child one day in the future. He’ll never take authority seriously.

4. Did your child break something and you won’t replace it? Then don’t get upset when she breaks YOUR stuff.

5. If you can’t keep a job, don’t complain about how your son and wife move in with you later on down the road. He’s only living as he learned.

Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages.
  • blinkbits
  • BlinkList
  • blogmarks
  • co.mments
  • connotea
  • del.icio.us
  • De.lirio.us
  • digg
  • Fark
  • feedmelinks
  • Furl
  • LinkaGoGo
  • Ma.gnolia
  • NewsVine
  • Netvouz
  • RawSugar
  • Reddit
  • scuttle
  • Shadows
  • Simpy
  • Smarking
  • Spurl
  • TailRank
  • Wists
  • YahooMyWeb

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2008 at 12:06 pm and is filed under Parenting, Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Hold Yourself Accountable”

  1. Jennifer Says:

    Good post. I can’t stand parents like this. And I’m relaxed by most parenting standards, but I do believe that kids should have respect both given to them and that they should respect others. I think your post points out the most obvious - setting a good example. Kids almost ALWAYS act like their parents, with very few exceptions.

  2. Julie Fletcher Says:

    Thanks Jennifer. This is a pet peeve of mine and I think of most other sane parent out there. I’ve met people whose styles were nearly 100% different in every aspect, except for this.

Leave a Reply



Google