Archive for the 'Conflict and Anger' Category

Motivational Monday: The Glad Game

Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses. -Confucius

I’m trying really hard with this one today. It seems that people are more inclined to remember injuries and to be honest, I’m one of them. Learning to let go of personal injuries to the emotions is a hard lesson, but not impossible. Lately I’ve been playing the ‘glad game’. Remember PollyAnna? If you’ve never read that book, take a chance and read it.

The ‘glad game’ is taking the time to think of ways to be glad over everything that happens to you. The harder it is, the better it is for your soul. For example…you didn’t get the promotion you wanted or a job you wanted didn’t come through. Well, perhaps you can be glad that you don’t have to spend the extra time on the job and you can spend it with your loved ones instead. Maybe you need eyeglasses, but you can be glad you are not blind, and so on.

The Glad Game is hard, but easier than living with constant regret.

Posted in Conflict and Anger, Character Development, Mental Environment, Stress Management | No Comments »

Feelings.. Nothing More than Feelings…

People in Nashville don’t know how to drive. Period. When the light turns green, it takes them more than thirty seconds to actually begin to move, and, if you are unlucky enough to be the third or fourth car in line you have no chance of getting through the light. I immediately get angry because I know it has everything to do with them being on their phone or playing with their OnStar or Ipod or what ever other pricey distraction that they have in their car that keep them from actually driving. My kids are starting to hear me say not so nice things about people that I don’t know. It has become a serious source of stress for me these last few days. I know. I sound irrepressibly ridiculous and bitchy. So be it.

What I have come to realize (sorry, each of my little boring nuances always have to equate to a larger, deeper issue.. I know you are probably coming to roll your eyes each time I say “what I have come to realize”…) is that when I am stressed about anything “real” (kids, work, money) I tend to take it out on complete strangers. Does anyone else do this? My husband takes it out on his artwork, my son takes it out on me and I take it out on poor, unassuming strangers who are just trying to go about their day. I know I am doing it - I even have a little talk with myself about the fact that what I am feeling has nothing to do with these people - not even the annoying sorority girl in front of me in line at the bookstore who is talking very loudly on her phone about, like, how drunk she got last night and, like, how her daddy is going to be so mad because, like, he has to fix the SUV that he, like, totally bought for her for, like, her eighteenth birthday that her soooo cute boyfriend, like, totally dinged up by totally running into the corner of her sorority building.. It is not her fault that my son has gotten quite used to telling me “no” (he will, in fact, spell it out for me just in case I missed it the first time - “Did you hear me mom? N-O. I am not going to put my shoes on.”) and it is not her fault that my daughter has made a sprinkler out of her mango juice and is not only covered with it but sitting in a puddle of it in the middle of Borders. Yes, this innocent and dumb college girl might be everything I have ever fought against as a woman who prides herself on being well read versus being well laquered and liqoured - but, ultimately, I couldn’t care less anymore about what or who she is. She has just become my target for rage. Poor thing. What to do, what to do.

Part of me feels like it is good that I have found an outlet for my frustrations other than my kids and husband. I know plenty of women that use their husbands as punching bags when things get rough and don’t think twice about it. But, I guess my deal is that I don’t like feeling this sort of irritation at anyone - even people whom are living a rude existence. Maybe I need to start meditating again. Maybe I should have a go at Yoga again. Boxing maybe? Who knows. Isn’t admitting you have a problem the first step? Hi, my name is Lisa, and I have a rage against obnoxious and oblivious strangers problem and I need help. Thank you.

Ok. What’s next?

Posted in Conflict and Anger, Daily Living, Mental Environment | No Comments »

Software Fluke Causes Engaged Couple to Break Up After 5 Years of Dating

A woman using the Firefox web browser discovered her fiancé’s secret life by accident. Here’s a detailed account of what happened, and instructions on how to reproduce the “bug.” (from Bugzilla)

This privacy flaw has caused my fiancé and I to break-up after having dated for 5 years.

Basically, we share one computer but under separate Windows XP user accounts. We both use Mozilla Firefox — well, he used to use it more than I do but now we don’t really use it. The privacy flaw is this: when he went to log-in under his dating sites (jdate.com, swinglifestyle.com, adultfriendfinder.com, etc.), Mozilla promptly asks whether or not he’d like Firefox to save the passwords for him. He chose never, obviously. However, when he logged off his user account, and I logged onto my Windows XP account X amount of days later, I decided to use Firefox because hey — it loaded everything much more efficiently, was better to work on with website designs and is a lot more stable than IE7beta2.

Firefox prompted whether or not I’d like it to save my password for logging into my website. I chose never and changed my mind. I went into the Password Manager to change the saved password option from Never to Always and that’s when I saw all these other sites that had been selected as “Never Save Password.” Of course, those were sites I had never visited or could ever dream of visiting.

Then I realized who, how and what… and sh*t hit the fan. Your browser does not efficiently respect the privacy of different users for one system.

Reproducible: Always

Steps to Reproduce:

  1. Create 2 unique user accounts (for steps sake, let’s call the two accounts Joe and Mary) in Windows XP Home.
  2. Logout and sign-in under Joe.
  3. Open Firefox and go to an e-mail site or to jdate.com or wherever.
  4. Attempt to log-in to the site so that Firefox will ask whether or not you want your password saved.
  5. Choose not to save the password.
  6. After successfully logging in and having selected the “never save password” option, logout.
  7. Log-in as Mary and open Firefox.
  8. Browse, browse, browse… but you don’t really have to. Just go to “View Saved Passwords,” click on the tab that will show you sites to never save passwords for, and you’ll see whatever painful site Joe denied to save a password for.
  9. Break-up with fiancé.

Firefox should be respecting every single area of privacy per user on one system. It’s not doing that… I’m going to submit this as Major because not everyone shares one computer, but it should really be considered Critical.

Posted in Relationships, Conflict and Anger, Computers and Technology | 2 Comments »

Domestic abuse affects workplace too

Stan Henry of the The Desert Sun reports:

Domestic violence doesn’t stay home when its victims go to work: it affects productivity, increases absenteeism and raises the risk of violence in the workplace.

Full Story

Posted in Conflict and Anger | No Comments »

            



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