Archive for the 'Marriage' Category
It’s Valentine’s Day. Ho Hum.
While we were getting ready for bed last night my husband, with foamy toothbrush in mouth, says to me “So, do you wanna just go in on a Valentine’s Day presents for each other — you know, just get one thing for both of us?”. I stopped, face full of creamy white face cleaner and hair pushed back in a headband circa 1982, and stared at him with a look that I’m quite sure said “Only if you want to die by the hand’s of a woman wearing a headband circa 1982″. I got angry and didn’t say anything. I slumped off to bed and made a big deal about it.
I never get mad about these things, I don’t know why I did last night. I guess I just wanted to wake up to a surprise of chocolates and roses for once — all the hackneyed things that intelligent women never admit to really wanting because it makes them seem ridiculous and trite. I wanted to be spoiled for once.
I got over it (a little) and we kissed and said goodnight. When I woke up this morning, my usual cup of coffee was waiting for me on the nightstand and my husband was in his regular post in the kitchen packing our son’s lunch for school. I pulled myself out of bed, went and got the baby and sat in the kitchen, drinking my coffee and watching my husband.
This was my Valentine’s Day present. His wonderful presence and his constant daily reminders of how much he loves me, us — the perfectly made cup of coffee, with just the right amount of cream put in as only he knows how; the dishes that always get washed without even the slightest involvement from me; the beautiful way he cares for our children, drawing them pictures for their lunchboxes so that they, in the midst of the crowded, loud cafeteria, don’t feel like we aren’t together (at least a little) at a meal time..
As cheesy as it sounds, I realized this morning that every day is a pretty rare gift. I’m a lucky girl, no matter how you look at it. Valentine’s Day does get a bit Ho Hum when you get married, but for all the right reasons I think.
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Wedding Bell Blisters
My only girl cousin is getting married in less than two months. She is taking the whole wedding planning event a lot better than I did. She is excited and eager and wants it to be the fantasy that all us girls are raised to believe it should be. Much to my mother’s dismay, I dealt with it by hiding and arguing a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled to be marrying my husband — it wasn’t the union I was concerned about as much as the “event” planned around it. Somehow the idea of a wedding never made me glow with passion or teeter with girlish excitement. It actually had quite an adverse reaction. However, I am a girl whose parents are, for the most part, rather catholic and uber-traditional. Scratch that — my dad offered me a rather large chunk of money to elope to Las Vegas but it would have, truly, been the death of my mother. She and my father eloped at the tender ages of 18 & 19, never even had so much as a celebration dinner and, thus, had been planning her — er — I mean my wedding since the day I was born. She wanted each guest to have little bells to ring, I said no. I wanted to dance out of the church to Pat Benatar’s “Love is a Battlefield” 
just like they dance out of the bar and down the street in the video shaking their shoulders and squinting their eyes like they meant business, she said no. We just didn’t see eye to eye on anything. I eventually just reliquished most control and made ammends where I could. Her porcelain, generic groom and bride wedding cake topper was sneakily traded for a golden male roller skating trophy figure and a female buddhist deity named Tara. We made “corrections” where we could, but ultimately, it ended up being my mom’s dream come true. And ultimately, that’s ok. When it is all said and done, the thing I remember most — after the amazing look on my husband’s face after they pronounced us husband and wife — was my mom seeming more proud of her family than ever. She was the mother of the bride and she looked beautiful and all that she had planned, the trimmings and trappings as they say, looked beautiful. It was just as she had meant for it to be, save a few touches courtesy of me. She earned that and I am happy that I could oblige.
For you ladies out there in the midst of planning the biggest day of your, or your mother’s, life — there are several wedding resources to help you through the madness and revelry.
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Biggest Bathroom Pet Peeves Among Newlyweds
Getting married and sharing a bathroom is a big deal for many newlyweds (those married for two years or less). A recent survey conducted on behalf of Roto-Rooter Plumbing and Drain Service (yes, a plumbing company), came up with the top 5 bathroom pet peeves among newlyweds.
- Leaves dirty clothes on the floor (47 percent)
- Leaves sink a mess (44 percent)
- Never cleans the toilet bowl (37 percent)
- Never replaces the toilet paper (37 percent)
- Tries to have conversations while I’m using the toilet (30 percent)
I qualify for at least a few of these things, or at least I did during my first years of marriage. However, I was surprised to see leaving the toilet seat up missing from the top ten.
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More college-educated women adopt husband’s surname
Nicholas Zamiska of Everything Michigan reports:
In a reversal of a three-decade-long trend toward more married women keeping their own names, increasing numbers of college-educated women are taking their husbands’ surnames, according to a Harvard University study.
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