You have just picked up your toddler from child care and you notice a purple bruise on her hand. You then discover a note in your daughter’s backpack. The note is from your child’s provider informing you that one of your daughter’s classmates bit her!
To discipline is to teach. When we discipline we teach our children to have self-control, to be considerate of others, and to feel secure. A home with no discipline is a recipe for chaos.
When you conduct parent workshops, you start to see the same issues coming up over and over for parents. The names and faces are different, but the issues are the same. And the truth is that parents are often responsible for many of these problems.
Go to any formal event where there are speeches given, such as a political dinner or some other gathering. Wait until the third speech, and then look at any group of twenty-five people. You will observe three types of people.
Give up on why. Trying to pinpoint the motive(s) of your child’s behavior is a futile exercise, and one guaranteed to cause you grief. Look instead at the now and the how. Now is all that truly exists. The past is gone, the future yet to be. How describes the structure of Now, and includes behavior and everything else that is happening in the moment.
One reason that parents can’t separate their child from a bad friend is that the friend often has a stronger relationship. When a child is young, his parents are the major influence in his life. As children enter adolescence a change occurs. A natural part of growing up is breaking away from parents and making bonds with peers.
Toddlers are bundles of energy, and they love to run, jump, tumble, and explore all the wonderful things their legs and feet help them do. However, when children this age are angry or frustrated, they tend to lash out with their voices, hands and feet (anyone who has been kicked by a tantrum-throwing toddler knows how much it can hurt!).
Kids with pessimistic attitudes are among the most frustrating breeds. They give up easily, believe anything they do won’t make a difference, and assume they won’t succeed. Sadly, they rarely see the good, wonderful things of life. They dwell instead on the negative, bad parts, and often find only the inadequacies in themselves: “I’m so dumb, why study?” “Nobody’s going to like me, why bother?” Beware: the trend is increasing: a child today is ten times more likely to be seriously depressed compared to a child born in the first third of this century. So what’s a parent to do?