Often, counseling children and adults can be a very gratifying experience. A while back, I had a father who joined the counseling process with his teenage son. I had been seeing the son for individual sessions. The father requested being involved, with his son’s agreement, so that the two of them could learn more effective ways of communicating about significant issues.
I lay down on my six-year-old son’s bed the other night before he went to sleep. It’s a time when we have some of our most interesting and precious talks. This evening, I was preoccupied with other thoughts. While lying next to him, my mind was a million miles away.
If a woman complains to her husband and there’s no one listening, is she still a nag? I personally have ordered hearing tests for at least three members of my family?all of them male. Why is it that my two year old son has no trouble at all picking up any blurted out obscenities that I (rarely) utter, but is totally immune to my cries of “watch out for the table” (whack) as he walks through the dining room?
Parents can often be frustrated by their kids’ unwillingness to share their lives with them. Whether your kids are toddlers or teens, there will be times when it’s difficult to “break through” and find out what’s really going on. Here are ten ideas on how to create opportunities for your kids to open up and share their lives with you.
Dear MrDad: My husband and I?like most couples?have our share of disagreements on how to parent. One of the things we’ve been disagreeing on lately is whether or not it’s okay to fight in front of the kids. What do you think?
I do not think that yelling indelibly scars kids unduly nor does them irreparable psychological damage; but it certainly does not help them to learn productive ways of interacting with the world. I guess that you could say that I am opposed to yelling at kids for the same reason that I am opposed to punishment; it does not work in any way that it is even close to the way that it is intended.
The key to handling your parents is understanding them. Sometimes, especially when they are annoying you, the very idea of that is repellent. You don’t want to understand their motives; you want to grumble about them, shrug your shoulders helplessly about how impossible they are, assure yourself that they’re crazy.
You probably know other parents with teenage sons and daughters who don’t talk to them about anything. But are you confident that your teen would talk to you if anything was wrong?