Parent With The Current
By: Liz Wertman
The phrase “single parent” is new for the twenty-first century. Men and women are designed to repopulate and raise their children together, not single-handed. More than offering our X and Y-chromosomes, men and women both bring valuable substance to the table of parenting. Both have their strengths and weaknesses that help develop a child to their full potential. To offer this to our children is priceless.
While this still exists in the twenty-first century, some of us aren’t that lucky. We are called “single parents”. Though unless our husband has died or has totally abandoned the children, we aren’t parenting alone. We just are no longer a two parent, one house family; we are a two-parent two-house family. Most of the arguments in the house are built around “Mom says I can do this” and “Dad says I can do that.” Life is hard for you and confusing to your children. When parenting “single,” we are not alone, but it does seem that we are most of the time because parenting this way is like swimming against a current. It takes all your strength and you can’t do it for long without consequences to both parents and children.
The “current” is the relationship you now have with your ex-spouse. That reflects on your parenting and your relationship with your children, which in turn affects their relationships with others.
We know one house two parents parenting has the best out come for children. We know single parenting does not. A new parenting phrase and way of life has to be created to combine the two.
- One house two parents’ -Two parents working together in the same house to raise children. The two parents stand united.
- Single parenting Two parents not working together in two houses. Taking every opportunity to negate each other. Two sets of rules for the children because the parents are not united in child rearing.
There is another option.
When you divorce you signed a “shared parenting” agreement. Let’s examine the word “shared”. It means doing the same thing at the same time. Working together at one task, parenting! You would then have: -Shared parenting - Two houses, two parents, and one set of rules because both parents are united in parenting their children.
You would make your life so much easier! You would no longer be swimming against a current and your children will be more secure, feel more loved by both parents.
I’m sure most of you are thinking “I can’t do that with my ex”. Yes you can. You do have differences, but you should have one common interest remaining… your children. You will also benefit by having an easier life, less stress and you won’t feel so alone. You will also have confidence that you are giving your children the best chance against the world.
In a “singles” world you have to deal with so much adversity. Parenting doesn’t have to be one of them.
Parent with the current not against it!
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