When Something Feels Wrong
By: Deanna S. Pledge, Ph.D.
Reviewed By: Free Spirit Publishing
When Something Feels Wrong: A Survival Guide About Abuse (For Young People)
An incident of child abuse is reported every 10 seconds. (The government estimates that only one out of three incidents is reported).
How do thousands of teens recovering from childhood abuse or living with abuse learn to cope, trust, heal, and begin to feel “normal” –even good- again?
Written especially for abused and hurting teens, this book offers needed coping skills and real teen “been there” advice for youth who struggle with the aftermath of abuse and want the pain to stop.
It doesn’t matter who they are, where they live, or what they look like. It doesn’t matter how they act, how much (or how little) money their families have, if they’re active and successful in school, or distanced or struggling. All kinds of teens are victims of abuse – sexual, emotional, physical, and neglect. Maybe it happened when they were little. Maybe it still happens. Maybe they thought everybody grew up like that, or think everybody’s boyfriend or girlfriend acts like this. Or they might wonder how something that happened so long ago could still come back to hurt? Psychologist Deanna Pledge has helped hundreds of abused teens navigate their feelings, family, school, and legal situations positively and productively. In When Something Feels Wrong, Deanna helps readers understand what hurts, learn what helps, and discover that they can heal and move forward.
When Something Feels Wrong provides teens with the straight talk and realistic advice they need, from what’s going on (How do I know? Is it my fault? Why is it so hard to tell? Why is it still so hard to talk about?) to struggling through (learning to trust, things that make healing hard, establishing boundaries, making healthy choices, taking positive risks, letting go, moving on). “Getting out from under abuse is too difficult for anyone –even the most resilient adult- let along a teenager, to handle alone,” says Deanna. “Teenagers need to understand what their options are, what to realistically expect from others, and how to make positive choices while managing strong and confusing feelings – feelings made all the more difficult by the turbulence of adolescence and the exploration of relationships.”
When Something Feels Wrong consists of two parts. The first, What Is Abuse?, includes topics such as:
- Identifying physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect
- Abusive peer behavior (bullying, relationship abuse)
- Getting ready to tell, telling others, and what happens next
- Helping a friend who’s been abused
The second section, Your Healing Journey, includes:
- How does a family heal?
- How can you feel safe and how can you help others help you?
- What about dating, broken dreams, and new fears?
- How do you make a change and learn to make better choices?
- How do you let go of memories, build healthy relationships, and set goals?
When Something Feels Wrong also includes 19 “What If…?” questions and answers covering topics of special concern for abused teens, from “What if the answers covering topics of special concern for abused teens, from “What if the abuser was drunk or high?” to “What if I consented to sex with my teacher or coach?”
Throughout the book, readers will find the “been there” experience and advice of teens who, like them, are coping with the aftermath of abuse.
“Sometimes when I get bored in math, I just start remembering things. I have to work really hard to think about something else.”
“What finally helped me was when some girl came to school and talked about sexual abuse. She could have been me, and she didn’t get in trouble when she talked about it…”
“I felt like I let a friend down because I didn’t do anything. I knew he was acting weird, but I never would have guessed why. Now I know that guys can get abused, too.”
“I met with my therapist for a couple of years before I really started noticing that I was feeling better. Sure, I still have some down days, but having people around who care helps keep me going.”
When Something Feels Wrong provides teens with the words they need to understand and talk about their experiences – and answers the questions they have about ever feeling good again.