What Mom Can Do for Dad


By: Rick Hanson, Ph.D. and Jan Hanson, L.Ac.

I've been thinking more about my husband's needs lately, and wondering what I might be able to do for him, even while swamped with kids, laundry, and all the rest. Any suggestions?

When kids come along, a mom and dad have to work harder than ever. Naturally, they each get stressed and depleted. And that means they need more from each than ever!

A previous column suggested practical ways Dad could help Mom (it's on our website if you want to see it: www.NurtureMom.com). And here's a similar list of what Mom could do for Dad. Rather than playing it safe with a generic, gender-free list – like be more supportive or less critical – we thought we'd take a chance and try to capture some of the common, "him and her" textures in many relationships.

For many of these, we'll mention how often she could do them; feel free to adjust those suggestions to your own situation. Of course, if something doesn't fit for you or your mate, just move on the next item. And more than anything else, we hope you come up with your own lists: both what you'd like to receive and what you recognize your partner would like you to give.

Rick Hanson is a clinical psychologist, Jan Hanson is an acupuncturist/nutritionist, and they are raising a daughter and son, ages 12 and 14. With Ricki Pollycove, M.D., they are the first and second authors of Mother Nurture: A Mother’s Guide to Health in Body, Mind, and Intimate Relationships, published by Penguin. You can see their website at www.nurturemom.com or email them with questions or comments at drrh@mindspring.com; info@nurturemom.com; unfortunately, a personal reply may not always be possible.

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