Question: My wife and I have been trying to conceive for about 6 months now with no success. I wasn’t too alarmed, until my sister-in-law told me my brother was diagnosed with “low mobility male infertility”.
Have you ever been to a baby shower and the in-laws were not speaking and the young moms did not know each other and there was quite an uncomfortable silence? If you plan your games correctly, the group will be interacting with one another in minutes! Old grudges and strange faces will fade away when you implement these fun ideas.
It is funny how doing things the “old fashioned way” is looked upon as risky and dangerous. When I presented the option of a home birth to my husband he responded very nervously and adamantly insisted that he wouldn’t be comfortable unless there was an emergency facility, prepared to handle any catastrophe, in the same building as the birth. He had reason to be frightened—he had watched his godson get whisked away by helicopter five minutes after his hospital birth due to pneumonia complications. Had he not been born in a hospital we would have, undoubtedly, lost him. But, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I wanted this birth (my second child) to be at home and with family.
As much as I hate to admit it, if it had never happened to me I would think it was a hoax. I would write it off as a hypochondriac’s fabrication. I would look at the symptoms (“when you sit or lie down, do you have a strong desire to move your legs?”) and laugh mockingly. But, unfortunately, it has happened to me. My two last trimesters during my second pregnancy was riddled with night time angst—all because of RLS.
Having a child is a fantastic event. So why do so many women experience so much anxiety when they go through the process? They may have the support of family and friends and yet feel a sense of “aloneness.” What are some of the anxiety-arousing triggers that a woman experiences?
It can be particularly difficult to face the many emotional issues raised by infertility at a time when everyone is celebrating motherhood and fatherhood. RESOLVE urges men, women and couples who are experiencing infertility to plan ahead for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, acknowledge their feelings and prepare themselves emotionally to handle questions and comments from family and friends.
There are big secrets in woman/motherhood. Unfair secrets that someone should really tell a girl. Secrets about what pregnancy and childbirth and nursing your children will do to your body. Nobody tells you, in detail, about what is in store. Nobody wants to talk about it because, by talking about it, you might be admitting your own imperfections. Fair enough. But, I think that it is high time some one laid it out there. And after long and repeated conversations with my other friends who have kids about what an injustice it is that we had no idea what was in store for our bodies—I think it is high time we all joined in this unveiling of the true circumstances that your body has to face while becoming a mother.
What happens when there is something that you just can’t live with—something that you feel is an indicator of complications—even though all your test results and ultrasounds are being noted as “normal”? And, what happens when our doctors look at us with a terrible chagrin of condescendence after we tell them we feel (both physically and emotionally) that something’s not quite right and reply “Aw honey, you’re just pregnant!”. Well, if you’re as foolish as I was, you believe the doctor over your own intuition and signals that your body is sending. Big mistake.