Those who have been abused generally have experienced a roller-coaster ride of emotional upheaval. They have learned to doubt their own instincts, minimize the pain of betrayal, and have succumbed to the manipulation, or power and control of their mates. They will talk about horrid manifestations of abuse without any emotional intensity attached to the experiences. The discussion of their stories comes across as an afterthought.
The abuser generally has minimal insight into the significance of his problem. Raging and physical intimidation emerge naturally out of a sense of entitlement. The underlying assumption of the perpetrator of violence is, “People must act the way I want them to or they will pay for their actions.”