Do you struggle to have a meaningful conversation with your parents? Beth Sanders has some great conversation starters and tips to remember next time you pick the phone.
If someone told you to “put the apple in the basket on the table,” what would you do? Depending on how many apples and baskets are in your kitchen, it might not be clear. Would you move the apple in the basket to the table, or move the apple to the basket on the table? Had the speaker included the word “that’s” after the word “apple,” it would have eliminated any confusion.
Our families are like unique cultures. Each culture has its own way of communicating, arguing, eating, sharing, and showing affection. Most cultures remain intact by passing along their nuances, habits, and sayings for hundreds of years, with only slight variations occurring within each generation. The same is true for families.
What would it be like if you and your partner became excellent listeners on a daily basis? For example, think back through the months or years you have known your partner and recall the times when the two of you talked like best friends who truly cared about each other. What did it feel like to have a soul mate who was 100 percent there for you? Wouldn’t it be great to have that sense of deep connection again in your conversations?
The way we experience life is often tied with the way we perceive things. Perception doesn’t tell us the truth about events. Instead, perception gives us a mixture of singular observations, washed in a mixture of emotions, memories and logic. That’s the reason why many people can experience the same thing, like a movie, and walk away with different interpretations and conclusions. The same is true in how we perceive each other in our relationships.
There’s so much talk about emotional intelligence and how it can promote personal and business success. What is it really? What are its basic tenets?
How often have you had the experience of not knowing what to say in conflict? Later, after thinking about it, you think of all the things you wish you would have said. Then you go back to your partner to try to deal with the issue, only to discover that it’s too late – your partner doesn’t understand what you are talking about.
Do you find yourself struggling to “win” arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter!