Do you suspect you may be in an abusive relationship, but aren’t quite sure? Are you looking for clues to confirm or disprove your hypothesis one way or the other? The answer you are looking for may be contained in the words, language patterns, and communication style used by your partner.
Money is certainly a concern in relationships where both people are working hard yet there is not enough money. However, this is not the situation that generally causes relationship problems. In this situation, both partners are on the same side, each supporting the other in dealing with the problems. There are no power struggles, just actual money concerns.
So you found a suspicious number scribbled on a matchbook in your partner’s pocket. Or maybe an unknown number keeps popping up on the caller I.D. These “discoveries” seem innocent enough but, in many relationships, the occasional snooping around for clues to a partner’s extracurricular activities turns into an obsession that includes fishing for information from friends, reading personal e-mails and letters, and living an essentially paranoid existence.
We all know that couple. They are always bickering, never content – yet somehow it seems they will always be together. Then, out of the blue, one of the pair plays the divorce card, leaving all those involved wondering what knocked them off the fence and forced them to solve the “to be or not to be” mystery.
Friends and relatives often ask themselves why someone would remain in an abusive relationship. It’s difficult to imagine, but there are many reasons to stay, and to the victim, they are all good reasons.
Five Steps to Awareness and Safety