When a chapter closes in our lives, we must grieve the loss and let it go. This is true with divorce. It’s the finality of mourning “what could have been” that is painful. Nevertheless, the work of processing the reality of divorce, with all of its implications and consequences, must be confronted with courage and integrity.
How does one proclaim their power when faced with fear and overwhelm, with sadness by the loss of their marriage? While not minimizing the wide range of deep emotions that accompany separation and divorce, there are some very basic steps that women can take in order to restore self confidence and build an ideal life on their own.
Even as you read this article, there are many couples living in a transition between married life and getting divorced. Separation can come in many forms and have many intentions. For some it is simply a necessity so they can begin building separate lives while they wait for the divorce process to end. However, other couples view separation as a way of creating space and lessening the tension of a partnership so they can decide whether the marriage is salvageable.
There are certain practices that married couples must follow in order to avoid adding to a divorce rate that hovers around 50%. These practices are important for the success of your marriage, and they’re also essential for the well-being of your children.
Divorce is a scary, lonely and misunderstood process for most people, particularly when there are children involved. The mutual friends enjoyed during the marriage may not be of help because those individuals may not want to “pick a side.” A divorce will introduce you to an entirely new balancing act.
Between the decision to divorce and the physical separation, you and your wife are stranded between two worlds: your past life together and your future lives apart. It is only natural during this period of limbo that emotions run high. Even the slightest miscue can lead to an explosion that could irrevocably damage your chances at a good divorce. The problem is that, because the relationship has changed, it is hard to know how to act.
Dr. Lazarus, of Denver, CO, has compiled a recommendation list of divorce resources. The list includes his favorite books and websites.
The road to emotional recovery from divorce can often be unpredictable territory. One minute you can feel fine and the next you are overwhelmed by all the residual feelings and the unnerving sense of change. Being prepared for those moments when you suddenly get bombarded with emotion can help you better catch your breath and get back on level ground.