Do You Still Have Motion Sickness?
Like getting off a roller coaster, many divorcees exit their first marriage dizzy with confusion and emotions and not quite able to find their balance. It isn't an easy process to move from a "we" to a "me," but often this can be a valuable opportunity to transform your life with more self-esteem, fulfillment and personal happiness. If you haven't taken the time or made the effort to recover from your divorce and rebuild yourself, then another marriage may not be the best idea. It's hard to be a healthy "we" if you aren't a well-rounded, stable "me."
Are You Getting On the Same Ride Again?
The divorce rate for second marriages is actually higher than couples uniting for the first time. This is partially because many divorcees jump right back into another relationship without taking the time to really process the high and low points of their previous partnership. Every experience in life teaches us something. Whether you know it now, you have learned things about what you want and don't want in a relationship and it is important to recognize and process those lessons. If the ride made you sick the first time, don't jump back on a similar one just for the sake of companionship.
Do You Need a Seatbelt?
Often individuals entering second marriages are further along in life, more stable in their career with more assets and debt to consider. It is important that you and any potential marriage partner have detailed discussions together about what your union will mean financially and legally, as well as talking about how you will merge your respective lives. We are seeing an increasing trend of prenuptial agreements for second marriages. This can be an important tool for helping to really define your relationship and then protecting that union legally. Unlike first time couples who often avoid talking about financial issues and divorce, second timers know that "sometimes it doesn't work out" and it is critical that you acknowledge this and outline the legalities of your relationship in the case of death or divorce.
Remember, the most important thing to remember is that a good marriage is made up of two individuals who navigate life as a unit. A marriage is something that should be built, not a wall to hide behind or a distraction for forgetting the past. When approaching the concept of marrying again, make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons and then be responsible in creating a scenario that will fare better than your first time on the marriage ride.
Educating men and women on the importance of equality in marriage and divorce, www.equalityinmarriage.org