Earlier this morning, I had written a blog that seemed important at the time and was, what I thought, to be a pretty accurate reflection of my role as a mother and how difficult it is since most girls my age don\u2019t have kids anymore… blah blah bleh… Thanks to the ineffectual powers of technology that be, I lost everything I wrote because of a lame internet connection in our new house.\u00a0 At the time it seemed important and I was angry.\u00a0 Five hours have passed, my daughter is down for her second nap and the world has changed with just one phone call.\u00a0 My dad is sick and in the hospital – doubled over in pain.\u00a0 They are going to have to operate soon to take a cyst that we knew nothing about off of one of his kidneys.\u00a0 His stomach has swollen to look like he is seven months pregnant and he is in so much pain that he can\u2019t speak.\u00a0 We have no idea what is going on – we just have to wait until post-surgery to get a better understanding of what is wrong with him.
\nParents never get old in our eyes – at least mine hadn\u2019t yet.\u00a0 My parents are in their early fifties and they still look forty.\u00a0 My dad is a marathon runner.\u00a0 He has always been active and healthy and energetic.\u00a0 This is the first time I have been faced with the fact that, one day (hopefully, very far away), I will have to face him being old or sick or gone.\u00a0 I have never really thought about it until today.\u00a0 My grandmother died when I was ten and, though I saw what it did to my mom, I never fully understood what a god awfully empty feeling that must be to lose a parent.\u00a0 Thank goodness they aren\u2019t gone – nonetheless, since my mom called and told me the news I haven\u2019t been able to shake that lost feeling – that feeling like when you\u2019re five years old and lost in the supermarket.. it\u2019s like I wandered away from him in the bean and pasta aisle and he has already made his way to the frozen food section and I am panicked and I miss him and I can\u2019t stop thinking about how I will never be able to make it without him….. And there will be no customer service desk to call him over the intercom.. there will be no kind, old lady to ask me if I am lost… How do people do this?\u00a0 He\u2019s not supposed to get sick.\u00a0 Ever.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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