{"id":464,"date":"2006-11-27T09:47:37","date_gmt":"2006-11-27T15:47:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/?p=464"},"modified":"2006-11-27T09:55:51","modified_gmt":"2006-11-27T15:55:51","slug":"just-realized","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/2006\/11\/27\/just-realized\/","title":{"rendered":"Just Realized…"},"content":{"rendered":"

I have lots of friends.\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 And I love them all.\u00a0 I have just realized – or maybe accepted<\/em> – that I don’t fit in.\u00a0 And I never will.<\/p>\n

Last night I went to a clothing swap – everyone brings a bag or box of clothes\/shoes that you don’t want and you, well, swap.\u00a0 I sat admiring all the beautiful women whom I was in the presence of.\u00a0 They all had style and invested a lot of very successful time in their image.\u00a0 I admired them.\u00a0 Truly some of the most beautiful women I will probably every meet.\u00a0 And not beautiful in the traditional sense – I mean like great hair, vintage style, half sleeve tattooed beautiful.\u00a0 They have thought a lot about the way they look.\u00a0 A lot.\u00a0 And, they have still managed to stay interesting and intelligent.\u00a0 I felt like I was thirteen again.\u00a0 Akward and like I wanted to melt into the wall so that no one would notice me.\u00a0 As a usually very confident and secure woman, this took me greatly by suprise.\u00a0<\/p>\n

I have gotten used to the fact that I don’t have time or money to really invest in my “image”.\u00a0 I never really wanted an “image” and never really thought too much about gettting an “image”.\u00a0 I have always been the kind of girl who rolls out of bed, brushes her teeth, and throws on whatever is closest and cleanest.\u00a0 I mean, Einstein had five pairs of the same pants and five pairs of the same shoes and five pairs of the same shirt and wore them, interchangable, every day because he was too busy thinking and problem solving to worry about what to wear.\u00a0 That sounds so brilliant and luxurious to me.\u00a0 But, you know what?\u00a0 I don’t want to be that girl anymore.\u00a0 I want to look like I care about the way I feel about myself.\u00a0 Because I feel good about myself.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And, of course, as I reason all this out – I start to realize that I do portray myself as I am.\u00a0 To be anything other than this – this girl who is so engaged in the act of living that she doesn’t care what she is wearing – is right too.\u00a0 Right?\u00a0 But it looks so fun to be cute!<\/p>\n

Jesus.\u00a0 Weren’t identity calamities supposed to subside sometime before the age twenty??\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have lots of friends.\u00a0 I do.\u00a0 And I love them all.\u00a0 I have just realized – or maybe accepted – that I don’t fit in.\u00a0 And I never will. Last night I went…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[59,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-464","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-daily-living","category-lifestyles"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=464"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/464\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=464"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=464"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.familyresource.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=464"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}