Work
I don’t mind working. Don’t get me wrong. It is something I have done since I was fifteen. I’m just damn tired. That’s all.
It’s almost midnight, friday night. I just got home from work. The house is quiet – everyone asleep but the dog and cat. It would be nice to come home and visit with someone but, I can’t blame them. I would have gone to bed hours ago, too, had I been home and able.
I find myself stuck in a rut. I know I don’t want to do this forever – or at all, for that matter. I am desperate to start something that I will be happy and proud to do for many years. Does that exist? Or will I do things I moderately enjoy for a few years and eventually just give up trying to find that one thing that makes me feel like my work is worth investing my soul in? I know for a fact that working in a restaurant four nights a week is not what makes me sleep well at night. I wake up every morning feeling as if I have wasted so much precious time – time I could be writing or painting or starting graduate school or making love to my husband. It is all for naught. Sure. It pays some bills. Yes. That is absolutely necessary. I just want to feel fulfilled. Daily. Or at least every other day. I’d take that. Is that unrealistic?
You’re a really good writer, Lisa. Writers write, right?
sorry, I just love saying that.
I think it would be great if you were to write a book. Maybe give one of your characters the same thoughts and feelings you’ve been having lately, and see how she deals with them. If nothing else, it would give you something creative to do and think about while you’re trudging through the work day.
By the way, is the restaurant you work in the same one in which you met Robert Plant not long ago? That was cool, at least.
Oh John. How did you know just the right thing to say?
Thanks to this website/blog I have time to organize my book – this is good exercise for me. It keeps me conditioned (and connected to people like you who can remind me of what’s important). The book, however, will take many, many years for me to work through – it is a fact I have just had to accept. Life is happening all around me – some amazing and some that I just tolerate.
And, yeah, the parts I have to just tolerate are SO much more easy to swallow when Robert Plant makes a cameo.. Thanks for the pick me up. 🙂