Hey kid, get off my lawn!

When the heck did I get so old?  Why is it when “Jump” by Van Halen comes on the radio I’m freaked out by the thought of a balding man in spandex, when 20 years ago I thought he was a rock god?  Have you LISTENED to those lyrics?  I admit I had some vague delusions of being Madonna at one point but I turned away from the rubber bracelets and bullet bras by last year and am embracing my inner Hannah Montana.

My tween daughter is begging me for leggings to wear under her skirts.  Am I wrong to own twenty pair of black lace leggings or am I ahead of the trend instead?  I’d better hold on to my scrunchies just in case.  I see big things in ugly rubber bands coming around the bend next year.  Hey, has anyone seen my zippered leather jacket?