Coping with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day
By: RESOLVE
It can be particularly difficult to face the many emotional issues raised by infertility at a time when everyone is celebrating motherhood and fatherhood. RESOLVE urges men, women and couples who are experiencing infertility to plan ahead for Mother's Day and Father's Day, acknowledge their feelings and prepare themselves emotionally to handle questions and comments from family and friends.
RESOLVE suggests the following:
- Take a Proactive Stance Think ahead about the day and plan a strategy in advance. Don't wait until the holiday is upon you to make plans.
- Focus on Your Parents/Grandparents or Special Parental Figure Make this a special time for them. If a family gathering is planned and it will be pleasant for you, go and enjoy. But, if lots of children or pregnant relatives will be present, and you know this will be upsetting, consider other possibilities. You might plan to see your mother/father at another time during the weekend.
- Recognize Potential Painful Situations Restaurants, for example, may be a source of discomfort. They may ask if you are a mother or a father in order to give you a complimentary item. Be prepared for this question so you are not taken off-guard.
- Speak to Your Minister or Rabbi Before a religious service, talk with your clergyperson (or write a letter) and educate him/her about the experience of infertility. Perhaps he/she would be willing to say a prayer or offer words of support for those struggling with this crisis.
- Plan an Enjoyable Day Together It is important to work as a couple during these difficult days. Consider tuning out the holiday emphasis entirely and make it an opportunity for a fun day together – plan a day outdoors to go hiking, bicycling, or walking on a beach. See that movie you've wanted to see or create a special meal.
For more information: Call RESOLVE's National HelpLine at (888) 623-0744. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the holidays, whenever you need someone to talk to, our peer counselors will be happy to listen and to offer RESOLVE resources. Give us a call. You are not alone!
© 1998-2003 RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Since 1974