Don’t Lose Sight..

by LJ Dovichi

Raising a child is hard, but harder still is not losing sight of your partner in the process. With the high demands children place on your attention, time, and energies, it is easy to fall into the habit of tumbling into bed in exhaustion without a thought for your partner. Children are a blessing to any union but don’t forget how they got there in the first place. Eventually the center-of-your-world will grow up and leave the nest and then it’s just you and your partner again — seems like it’d be a good thing to keep that relationship alive.

Make a date. Date nights are hugely important. They don’t always have to be a “go out” on a date that isn’t always financially viable. If you can’t find a sitter or pay the exorbitant price of an evening movie with dinner once or twice a week, then have your date in. Eat a light snack when you feed the kids dinner and after they’ve gone to bed sit down to a romantic candle light dinner and then cuddle on the couch to a movie.

Do things together. It doesn’t always have to be about romance. Find something the two of you like to do and when the children have gone to bed, do the activity together. Play board games, video games, cards, anything that involves the two of you spending time together with which you can visit as well.

Spice it up. If you and your partner are into board games or cards add a little zest to the mix. Make it sexy, play for clothes, and fantasies. I invented a wicked game of adult Scrabble and a die. The rules are simple, after each complete turn, the person with the least amount of points takes off an item of clothing. What’s that you say? Scrabble takes a long time to play and you eventually will run out of clothes. I thought of that. After your clothes are gone then you roll the die three times. The first roll is for the body part (make a list one through six. I just did a list of three and repeated it). The second roll is for what activity that body part is engaged in. The third roll is for the length of time. When the game is over the winner gets the grand prize of having a fantasy or something they’d like fulfilled. Sounds like fun, right? Something like that can be done with anything if you just put your mind to it.

Hold hands. Don’t forget to touch one another even if it’s a simple hand holding or hand around the waist. Nothing says, “Hey I’m here and thinking about you,” than a simple touch. It’s not possible to touch your partner all the time but it’s easy to throw it in throughout the day — when you walk by them pat their rumps, caress their shoulders, or lightly brush against them.

Notes and love letters. Little notes in your partner’s lunch or love letters left where they can find them are an easy way to let your partner know they’re on your mind. In this highly electronic age it’s easy to flash your partner an e-mail. It can range from a just thinking of you message to a naughty this is what I’d like to do to you/for you message.

Relationships take a lot of work when you are just a couple and they take exponentially more when you bless your partnership with a child. Don’t lose sight of each other eventually you’ll be left to your own devices again and if you haven’t “seen” each other in eighteen or so years you just might know what to do.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, July 5th, 2008 at 8:22 am and is filed under Uncategorized, Relationships, Building and Maintaining, Marriage, Sex. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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